And So Here I Stand
by tigersbride
Summary: Peter has learned the truth, and knows where he really belongs. P/O in later chapters. Rated T for language. Spoilers for "White Tulip".
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Fringe or any of it's characters.

And so here I stand, apparently where I have once been before, staring at the blue void in front of me that is leading to somewhere I truly belong, where I might have been destined to have a life. I smile bitterly at that last thought, remembering the Alistair Peck case where Olivia had had déjà vu. I bet the two of them had exchanged a worried glance as I'd spoken of how I felt I was not meeting my destiny, because I had been right and they knew it. I was never meant to be here.

My thoughts returned to how I had guessed and Walter had confirmed my fears, clutching a piece of paper in his hands. I remember how I had glanced back at that paper as I left, noticing the hand drawn tulip. I also remember avoiding his face due to my own tears threatening to spill just as his own were. And then there was Olivia. I remember the way I felt as I knocked on her door, I was so hurt, so betrayed. And at this point my tears became the betrayers, carrying out their threat from before. I remember her answering groggily, and watching as her face contorted as she began to understand why I was here and why I looked as angry as I must have.  
"Peter..." she'd begun, her words echoing the horror that I realised was shaking her to her core.

It was then that I had realised I had no idea what I was going to say to her. I just wanted her to know how badly she'd hurt me and for her to know she has leave me to get over her. Not that she'd be able to.

"Olivia... why... I... I trusted you..." I choked, and she let out a sob. Before she could answer I turned and walked away, leaving her weeping on her doorstep. I moved out of the light from the dingy streetlamps as quickly as I could, hiding in the alleys, but still watching. It only took her a minute to realise I wasn't going to come back and grab her coat, lunging out into the cold dark air. I knew she was looking but she wouldn't find me because the darkness was shading me, protecting me from her sight. I walked then. I knew no one would be at the lab at this hour and I knew where Walter had likely hidden the machine that created his 'doorway'. It wouldn't take long for me to work it out; I was the son of _a _Walter if not this one. And I had been right. I grabbed the device and piled it into the car which I had left outside hours before, and set it up in the spot by the lake where my 'father' had done so all those years before.

And so here I stand, apparently where I have once been before.


	2. Chapter 2

I soon realise that I'm not alone any more. I heard the cars pull up and the car doors slamming. I even heard the desperate female voice crying my name. But I didn't take notice until the footsteps that were speeding toward me slowed and then stopped. I still remain determinedly staring at the portal, but my heart races quicker as I feel a soft hand grasp my arm.

"Peter" she says tentatively, sadly, but still with hints of desperation. "Peter, please".

I say nothing. What does she want me to say? The void is so tempting, a new start, a chance to be whoever I want to be, or even a chance to be whoever I was truly _supposed _to be. Why can't she understand that? My real father must be looking for me, I know Walter well enough to know that he would never give up hope. I bet he's worried about me. Vaguely I wonder if my mother is still alive, or if they had any other children. Everything could be so different, I mean Nixon was president, we saw the coin to prove it. Remembering Olivia's presence, I finally decide to acknowledge her when she breaks down into uncontrollable sobs. I slowly weave an arm around her shoulders. Just yesterday I loved this woman; she at least deserves a goodbye, no matter how badly she's betrayed me. She snuggles in closer; her sobs dampen my shirt as she refuses to look at the portal. It's not only her who's broken down: Walter is about 30 feet back from us, standing with Astrid and Broyles. I guess they think Olivia will manage to keep me here.

They won't understand that I have to go, that I have to see what my own world is like. I'm not one of them and I never will be. If I don't go now it'll be too late; Olivia and I are already on the verge of something more than friendship, it would be so much worse if I was ripped from here in a couple of years when we were closer still. Maybe if I return the war will stop, and actually I'll be saving them by leaving. Determinedly I take a step toward the blue, but Olivia's grasp on me stiffens and she wails out, clinging to me with every ounce left of her. I silently realise how vulnerable she is showing herself to be, her utter dependence on my existence in this world is far worse than I had ever expected. Yesterday this would have made me happy, because yesterday I needed her too and I would have taken this as affirmation of her feelings for me. Today, this makes leaving harder and yet, more inevitable. I pull her off me and turn to face her, bowing my head slightly as to meet her eyes on her level.

"Livvy" I sing to her, soothingly. "I have to go"

My statement sends shivers down her back and she shakes with tears, anger, and frustration. I smile at her sadly, kiss her on the head, and prepare myself.

"Goodbye, Olivia"

I turn and walk toward the blue before her desperate self can prevent me.

"Peter!" She cries out. "Don't! I..."

I turn to face her as I'm taken into the void, into my own place, where I belong, and her words are lost to the darkness.

**********

"Don't! I love you..." I finish, but he hasn't heard me, I know he hasn't, the sorrow is still in his eyes as he fades. I'll never see him again. Olivia Dunham, alone, again.


	3. Chapter 3

He's gone. That's it. He's really gone.

Deep down I had always known Peter Bishop would not be kept anywhere, even for me. I don't know what in my heart had possessed me to think I could change that, but I had done. I had truly believed he cared enough about me to stay, but perhaps I just cared for him too much, and was misinterpreting his behaviours. I can't believe I've done this to myself again. Falling for colleagues is a really bad idea. I've always known that much. So why has it happened twice now, and why have I been so badly hurt both times?

I feel hands and then arms under my shoulders, and finally realise Astrid and Broyles either side of me, trying to lift me from where I'm kneeling in the dirt. I hadn't even noticed them. That was a first; I've never missed anything so obvious. It must be even worse than it was with John. I don't know if that's because I love Peter more than I loved John, or because it's the second time I've lost someone. The worst part is that they've both hurt me while living. John betrayed not only myself but his entire country, and Peter left, knowing exactly how much it would pain us all: Walter, myself, and even Astrid.

"Come on Olivia" Astrid says in a soothing manner, but it's clear she's just as upset. There's still a tad of confusion in her voice. I expect she has not been filled in on the entire story, only the basics. I realise how weak I appear to them, so help them by pulling myself off the ground and smiling sadly at the both of them. Walter is still standing where he was when he disappeared, but he's not moving. He's just staring emptily at the spot where Peter faded. We walk toward him, and despite how I should hate him, when we reach Walter I hug him, and though we've never been close, we both resume our tears. I can sense Astrid and Broyle's sympathy, yet I know they want to move on, so I pat Walter on the back and we all climb into the car. No one says anything and the quiet bypasses awkward even, and almost becomes comfortable. This surprises me, as it is difficult to feel comfortable around anyone as important and intimidating as my boss.

Without thinking, I get out of the car with Walter at the Bishop's house, leading him inside. For some reason I need to be here, I can't let him go yet. The older man looks at me with swollen eyes, resigned. He walks up the stairs toward his bedroom, and shuts the door, but I can still hear his sobs through the walls.

The whole place reminds me of him, his favourite books, his favourite foods; even his favourite spot on the couch all prevent me from forgetting Peter. I don't know why, but I find my feet travelling towards his bedroom and I open the door, letting out a small sob of my own as I note the barren wardrobe, all except for one shirt. I pick it up and my heart breaks further. It was the shirt he had worn when we had gone out for drinks after returning from Jacksonville, and I had known then that he'd worn it only because I had complimented it one day weeks before. I remember how that had made me smile, and how we'd talked, but how reserved I'd felt after seeing his perfection glimmering and flickering; it had made his presence seem volatile.

Silently weeping, I curl up on his bed, absorbing his scent, and trying so hard to forget that he was gone.


	4. Chapter 4

It has been a week now, a week since he walked fatefully through that doorway and took his life away from ours.

Everything has changed. The morning after he left, Broyles ordered me in and explained that there was nothing he could do, without Peter they could not keep Walter out of St Claire's. This terrified me, Walter had come so far and throwing him right back in there might make the damage permanent. I had protested, threatened even, but as he had said, there was nothing he could do. As if losing one Bishop was enough. He had gone back inside for a day, but I thought perhaps Walter would be able to be released if it was I who took responsibility for him, and Broyles had reluctantly agreed, and I had signed my soul over to the government, but without the reluctance that had consumed Peter all those months ago.

Astrid has remained with us, and that I am grateful for, but it is improbable that her presence will continue for much longer. She is trying to keep us sane, but we're slowly falling deeper into insanity and I can clearly see why Walter ended up in St Claire's in the first place. It worries me how close I might be to that, and I'm supposed to be entrusted with him. None of us speak unless we have to, we don't talk about anything except cases and common courtesies. And an unspoken taboo has fallen over the topic of Peter, but we all know none of us can stop thinking about him.

I know that I have to move on; I just have no idea how to go about it. When John died, Peter was there for me, and so was Charlie. This time I am alone, and Walter is no help, if anything he's just as distraught as me, just as lifeless. They say you don't know what you have until it's gone, and I know that now to be the truth. As much as I should still be angry at Walter, I understand him now. I understand why he took Peter, and if anything I love him for it. After all, if he hadn't, I would never have met him, and I know I never want to forget him. I know I keep bringing up expressions, but my broken heart is searching for words of wisdom to fall back on, and they claim it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. I know that to be true, and I do draw some comfort from it.

I shudder out of my thoughts as my cell phone vibrates in my pocket and I answer it, toneless as is now the norm.

"Dunham"

"Dunham it's Broyles... I think you need to see this..."

* * *

**I promise it'll get a bit more happy soon! It's pretty much all written. x**


	5. Chapter 5

I hit the ground, and hard. I cringe, but pick myself up from the floor, brushing dirt off of my clothing and inspecting myself for damage. Behind me, the portal vanishes. That's it. I'm in my own world now. I vaguely wander back to where I know Walter's lab should be, or was in my universe. No, _their_ universe, I correct myself. I stumble through the grounds of Harvard University, attracting a few glances from people. I realise I must look out of place, I had the credentials there. The lab door is locked shut, so I knock on it. My heart wrenches as a familiar face opens the door, smiling politely but clearly annoyed for the interruption.

"Can I help you?" Olivia Dunham asks nicely.

"I'm looking for Walter Bishop?" I query, wondering if maybe this is a mistake.

"Bishop?" She looks at me with a familiar lopsided smile and I can tell she thinks I'm crazy. "Why do you think you'll find him here?"

I stumble at this point; I can't explain who I am or where I've been. "Look, do you know where he is or not?"

"Well yes I know where he usually is, everyone in Boston knows where he usually is! I mean I don't have a tag on him, but surely he's at work?" She seems really confused now, but I need her to be explicit. What I don't expect is the arrival of someone else at the door.

"What's going on?" The approaching man's voice asks. "Who's that?"

"William Bell..." I must look shocked as Olivia asks me to come inside. I accept. Bell looks confused as his genius mind begins working out who I am. I can tell he has succeeded when he starts looking at me in awe, then in anger, then back to awe.

"Bishop" he declares. Olivia looked even more puzzled after this. "What happened to you?"

I can tell now that I'm going to have to explain, and so I do, striking the occasional glance at Olivia's bewildered face between staring at the floor.

"They only told me yesterday." I finish.

"Peter... your father, he's a very important man." Bell almost stammers, quite unsure how to tell me the news which I'm not sure I want to hear. If truth be told, I'm terrified. Again I glance at Olivia, but as I lift my eyes they stick on her left hand, and the original heart wrench I felt when I saw her first was nothing in comparison to how I feel now. Situated on her index finger was a gold ring with a diamond on it, and just above it was a matching gold band. She's married. I didn't know how much this should hurt me but it was more than I thought it could. I don't know what I was expecting from this place but I somehow overlooked the fact that the Olivia here would never have met me, I'd just have been a kid on a milk carton as she grew up. She wouldn't be my Olivia.

"He founded a company, several years after you went missing, called Massive Dynamic. His knowledge of science has made it one of the biggest companies in the world. But he's changed, he's not the man I knew..."

William Bell continues his story but I'm no longer listening. I have to see the Walter from this side immediately, no matter how important he is. And then maybe I'll think about where to go next. Perhaps this Walter won't drive me up the wall.

"Can you take me to him?" I interrupt.

"I can..." he begins, "I can Peter but he won't want me anywhere near that building. So I'll have to get Olivia to take you."

I begin to ignore time as Bell goes about making phone calls and arranging my trip. All the while Olivia stares at me curiously, unsure what's unsettled me.

"Are you ok?" she asks concerned.

"Fine" I state bitterly, my tone resonating about the cold lab.

"Let's go" she smiles after a nod from Bell.

Grimly, I climb into the passenger seat next to her, fully aware that I feel even less like I belong in this world. I wonder if there are more universes and I've got the wrong one, and I'm still not home. I push this thought aside; Bell knew I had been missing.

"You know me don't you" Olivia broke the silence and interrupted my wallowing.

"Yeah" I state, resigned.

"Do you work with me? You knew where the lab was". I chuckle at her good guessing. Olivia, always so goddamn smart.

"Yeah" it seems like all I can say today. Empty heart, empty vocabulary.

Olivia falls quiet at this and it seems she's failing to break the heavy silence that hangs around us like a teasing mist. My mind begins to wander and before I can prevent myself I wonder what my Olivia is doing now, whether she's okay. A part of me wishes I'd been better to her; a better friend. If she felt half as bad, as _empty _as I was feeling now, she would be falling. I expect she and Walter are frantically trying to solve a new case, and that's keeping her mind off of things. At least _she_ has distractions. The pit of jealousy I once knew as my stomach begin to boil at this last idea, but I immediately regret not controlling my emotions, because this Olivia is shooting me worried glances.

"Listen" she starts. "Are you okay?"

"No, not really" I reply, but it's clear she isn't satisfied with my answer and wants her to elaborate. I know her well, after all. "I mean, yesterday I was happy, I had a home, a father, a good job, and I truly cared. Today I don't even know who I am."

She smiles sympathetically, taking one hand off of the wheel and laying it to rest on my arm. It's her right hand, I know, so the betraying silver ring is not touching me, but her touch still sickens me.

"Who are you married to?" I blurt out, unable to control myself.

"What's the point in asking that?" she gives me a confused look. "You won't know him... his name is John".

Somehow I knew this would be the case, but it still hurt me to contemplate her with him, but not half as much as it hurt me to think back to when my Olivia had been with the other John Scott. It's probably best not to get too involved though, I don't want her to be scared of me, which is inevitable if she finds out about my relationship with her alternate self. I don't have to reply though, because we've reached the Massive Dynamic building. We both step out of the car and make our way to the door in silence, but we exchange a glance. She looks concerned and I know my nerves must be showing.

"Welcome to Massive Dynamic, how can I assist you?"


	6. Chapter 6

It is slowly that I walk out of the elevator and toward the door. It's a pretentious door, frosted glass, but with the name 'Walter Bishop' glowing in electronic blue at the top in the centre. Massive Dynamic is flawless in almost every aspect, especially presentation. I'm worried now, as I approach the door, and my hands are shaking traitorously by my sides. I'm about to meet my real father, a man who I haven't seen since I was so much younger.

Olivia knocks on the glass, her fists tight and her jaw clenched.

"Come in" states a familiar voice, grim and yet authoritative. I shudder. This is not going to be easy. Apparently Olivia has a cover story in place, because as she enters the room she introduces me as if I work with her. _This _Walter Bishop, one of the most powerful people of _this _universe looks up at us from a mound of paperwork. I notice reading glasses, and that he looks identical to the man I left sobbing in my world. His eyes glance at Olivia, and then at me. He looks away, but then looks back, almost as if he's seeing things. I immediately know he is reminded of my childhood self. Nina Sharp had declared I looked very similar to then. She knew who I was, perhaps he recognised me too?

"Your name is... is Peter?" he asks me, disbelief present all over his face. I nod in acknowledgement as he stumbles toward me. An awkward silence befalls the room, but I remember how to show him I'm his son. I search in my pocket, and pull out a silver coin, and start to run it across the top of my fingers, but I drop it halfway.

"Shit" I mutter, bending down to pick up the coin.

"Peter...son...?" Walter looks at me and his eyes are filling with tears. I look at him with sadness but also delight that he remembers me from as little as this. I'd somehow envisioned a struggle, with an attempt for me to prove who I truly am.

I hear Olivia chuckle happily as I embrace the old man, and he begins to weep with joy. This hurts me as I remember my Walter's sobs as I left.

"What happened?" he demands and we all sit, so I explain everything, leaving out only the parts about Olivia's hurt and my feelings for her. He gets angry when he hears about how I was taken by his alternate self, but he agrees when I suggest he would have done the same.

"Walter this is going to sound crazy to you, but I don't know these things... I mean, is mom still alive? And do I have any brothers or sisters?"

"I'm afraid my son the answer is no to both of those questions. I can only imagine though, what this world is like where Bellie of all people founded this company" he smiles and I return it, but I still feel so unsettled. At this point, all of a sudden I felt watched, as if someone was trying to contact me or speak to me but I did not know where from. I shuddered. Perhaps in time I would begin to belong, find myself another woman, one who didn't carry a gun. It was probably time I settled down.

Some time passed with me and Walter exchanging tales about our universes for so long that I notice Olivia yawning and realise the time. I hadn't even considered up to this point that Olivia had been working hard, as usual, and that she is exhausted, so it is now that I offer to take her home. She agrees with some reluctance but I can tell she is grateful, having previously worried about running the car off the road as she falls asleep at the wheel. Walter arranges a car for me and I grin to myself as I climb into the sleek black vehicle and wait for Olivia to join me. The expensive life could be a good one, I decide.

I ask her where she lives and allow her to nap as I drive, probably faster than I should but the car has so much acceleration that it is hard not to, and it excites me, encouraging the adrenaline lust I used to get back in my nomad days. I pull up at the house she has described and know it to be John Scott's as I had seen photos in _my _Olivia's case files. This made me cringe again but I was determined not to let my emotions show through.

Helping Olivia out of the car and walking her to the door, I thank her for all her help today and kiss her cheek before she can get her key into the lock. She looks at me quizzically, confused, and yet she smiles.

"I'll see you again, won't I? Don't be a stranger" She grins.

I smile back in return but my smile is empty, John has just come to the hallway to greet his wife and kisses her on the cheek to greet her, replacing my own kiss, and taking back his possession of her. I nod at him as acknowledgement and he politely thanks me for keeping his dear wife safe. He says he'll pick Olivia's car up from the Massive Dynamic building early tomorrow morning. I agree, wish them a good night, and then leave, fully aware that Olivia's eyes are still burning on me, confusion embedded within her gaze.

I stare at the address Walter gave me and laugh, I knew the area of Boston that his house was located in and I was not complaining, it was full of houses ten times the size of my house in the other universe. I could get used to this. Still chuckling, I drive off, arriving twenty minutes later at a house bigger and bolder than anything I had dreamt of, even as a kid. I ring the buzzer and Walter's face appears on a screen beside me, and he beams at me, his joy apparent through the technology. I enter the house and he greets me with a hug.

"Nice girl, that Dunham" he states knowingly, and I wonder just how much he knows. "Not sure about the husband though."

I laugh it off, claiming that John appeared to be very polite, and ask if I can sleep now, god knows I'm tired. As I lie in a bed big enough for four people comfortably, I try and control my thoughts but they stray back to Olivia, my Olivia, and how she wept at the thought of losing me. I think about my Walter, and how he probably is not coping with his loss, and wonder if he'll go back to being insane. Right now my own thoughts are driving me insane, and the guilt is unbearable. I cannot believe I left them. I know Liv well enough to know that she will cope with this if she has to, but she will be a mess deep down. It's Walter that will struggle to continue. With that I decide my wallowing has gone far enough for one night and I shut my thoughts down and try to guide myself into a long sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

I'm sat in Broyle's office, waiting for some mystery to present itself. The urgency that had been his tone when he called me is still there, and this worried me. I spring to my feet as the door opens, and Nina Sharp enters through the door. I greet her. She looks at me, confused.

"Olivia Dunham, yes?" she asks me, and I start wondering how she has forgotten me until she speaks again. "I have come to warn you, I am not from this side"

My mind begins to wander and my panic starts snowballing out of control until I force it back down, the hurt and mourning that are simmering on the surface of my soul resume their dominance over my emotions.

"Warn me about what?" I question simply. I know somehow that something has happened or will happen to Peter, but the thought of trying to physically speak about him makes my heart throb with anguish.

"Walter Bishop" she claims, and for the second time I start to panic. "Not your Walter, our Walter." She pauses. "The thing is, Agent Dunham, our Walter has more power than you can imagine. I believe your Walter was institutionalised, whereas ours was not. I believe that this has caused yours to settle down somewhat, and become the paranoid, but genius man you know. Ours, however, still has the hint of insanity, but he has everything he needs to implement it should he choose to. He is verging on criminal with some of his actions."

This knocks me for six. I never considered that their Walter could be so different. I assumed he simply would be the bumbling, yet genius mess present in this world. Apparently I was wrong.

"Is Peter okay?" I blurt out, not in control of my actions.

"For now, yes" she sighs, "But I believe he is in danger."

"What can I do?" I ask, desperate to save the man who discarded us all.

"Your Walter created a window, yes? A window to see my world? I can't keep tabs on him when he is at their home, but you can. And if the time comes, you may need to take action."

I swallow, this means I'll get to see him again, but I'll be watching him being happy where he should be, and not where I want him to be. I nod. I can't look up at her or she'll see my eyes are starting to well up with tears.

"Thank you, Agent Dunham" Nina says softly, and I feel she is aware of my feelings for him. She exits the room and Broyles re-enters, ordering me to return to the lab and help Walter to find the window. It appears he has heard the story too. I nod once more, and make my way back, trying to clear my mind from remorse but finding it difficult. He keeps skating back in, his smile, his body, his face, all haunting me.

I arrive back at Walter's house, I refuse to label it as the Bishop's because it seems empty that way. I go inside, using the spare key, and call out for Walter. He won't come. No doubt he's still sitting in the kitchen where I left him earlier. I find him there, and look into his eyes as they stare through me, unseeing. I explain Nina's fears, holding back the chokes of despair. This seems to get his attention, and he agrees to her plan, standing up with more passion than I have seen this last week. He walks over to a cupboard that I have not noticed before, and opens it, rifling through until he picks up the same wooden structure he had presented to me after we had got back from Jacksonville. Unspeaking, we go outside and climb into my car. I leave a message for Astrid to meet us at the lab, and we start to drive.

As we arrive in Harvard, I feel unsettled and my nerves begin to surface, but I keep them buried. We enter the lab and I wait as Walter sets up the window.

"Olivia" he calls to me and I jerk my head up to look at him. I understand that it's ready, so I stand up and cross over to him. I don't know what to expect but I look into the window and gasp slightly as I see myself working with William Bell. Things really are different there. When I see them talking to someone we cannot see, my heart races, and Walter's must too for he jumps up and moves the window round. I follow him and we watch as Peter enters the lab, and embraces the equivalent of me. I shouldn't feel jealous but I can't help it. He hasn't lost anything and I've lost him. I can see them chatting and he has that familiar glint in his eye of attraction. That Olivia Dunham doesn't shy away from it and appears to flirt back curiously. I guess this is what it's going to be like for a while.

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**Thanks for all your lovely reviews! I'll cry if it happens like this too! I'm writing the last chapters now, so I'll upload when I can (: x**


	8. Chapter 8

I thought perhaps I'd be able to sleep but I guess being in such a different place had unsettled me and that that was preventing my slumber. I had to get up and do something, so I called the only person I knew that could calm me down. She agreed to meet and so here I am, knocking at Olivia's door quietly. She answers with a smile, and allows me in.

"Can't sleep?" She asks me with a slight smile. I nod and grin a little in response. She makes us cups of hot chocolate and we sit on her couch. We chat a little, but suddenly I realise how close she has moved toward me, and the very small distance between us. I lean back, breaking our eye contact and hopefully deterring her. This Olivia is not the woman I'm in love with, and she is not in love with me; she is married to John Scott. She pushes herself back along the sofa, realising my apprehension. We both pretend not to have even noticed, but a slight awkward atmosphere still manages to hang in the room. I thank her for letting me come over, and for the drink, and we say goodnight. We embrace uncomfortably at her door and I kiss her on the cheek. Immediately I regret my action as she strokes a hand against my face.

"It feels like I've known you for longer than just a day, Peter" she begins, her words barely a whisper. I'm fully aware that her husband is asleep upstairs. "It all feels so normal..."

Her fingers reach my jaw and I can't help but let my heart race in anticipation. I stand still and silent but she leans in to me, closing the gap between our lips with a small kiss. My mouth starts to move uncontrollably, as do my hands, running down to the small of her back and clutching her closer. She responds with enthusiasm, running her own hands through my hair in a way that makes me want her more than she knows. But I stop and push her away. Again my consciousness reiterates the fact that this is not the woman I know, no matter how much she might look and seem like her. My Olivia would not be so forward.

I smile sadly, guilty, and I can see traces of a flush beginning on her cheekbones. She apologises and I accept, my smile losing its sorrow. I apologise too and tell her not to worry, but that I must get home. She agrees, so I let myself out and drive back to Walter's.

It is with surprise that I realise I am not the only member of the household awake. I enter the kitchen and Walter is mixing the strangest of things together, humming to himself in a way that makes me shiver. I suddenly feel very afraid.

"Walter, what are you doing?" I question. This Walter was never institutionalised, so the oddness I'd come to expect from the other Walter should not be present in this one.

"Protecting us" he says coldly but definitely. I know better than to argue, it may just antagonise him. I say nothing, and go upstairs to where I was trying to sleep earlier.

* * *

It has been a week now since that night, and as much as I know I should be feeling right here I can't help but get terribly homesick. Despite having _a _Walter and _a_ Olivia here, it was not the same. I'd taken to joining Olivia and Bell in the lab and they seemed to be glad of my company and insight. I am doing just this right now, sat with Olivia, talking and flirting occasionally, but something seems different to how it has in the last couple of days. I feel horribly watched, as if something or someone can see me. I know that they can't possibly, for there are no cameras in the lab, or at least none that are real, working cameras. Today seems strangely significant.

Olivia cracks a joke and I laugh, but that feeling of homesickness is just made worse by my paranoia. I buckle spontaneously, putting my head in my hands and panicking. She's concerned, I can tell as she puts her hands on my shoulders and squeezes gently in an attempt to comfort me. I think she understands. She's always been perceptive.

Shocking us both, the door to the lab blasts open and none other than Walter strides in, demanding access to some of the apparatus. He regards Bell with a glare as Bell queries why he can't use his own equipment.

"It has to be here!" He shouts angrily, and the fear I felt that night in the kitchen comes back and haunts me. It is only now that I notice the wooden frame under his arm and only now that I realise what it is.

"The window..." I mumble, and an alarmed Olivia looks at me in panic.

We're ordered to stay silent by the Massive Dynamic founder, and we obey out of dread. None of us knows quite what he's doing, or how far he'll go to get revenge. We watch as he sets up the window, and I move quietly so that I can see through it, desperate for a glimpse of my old life. As it focuses, I see two familiar faces staring back at exactly the same spot. I now understand my feeling of being watched.

They both look awful. Walter has let himself go, his once clean shaven and tidy self is slightly bearded and dishevelled, and Olivia has her hair down but it's not falling at the neat lengths it usually falls at because of the knots that consume it. I also notice their reddish eyes and the dark circles beneath them, and feel their despair resonating through the window back at me.

I watch as my Olivia realises I can see her, and I see her eyes widen with so many emotions. Walter too looks delighted to see I am alive, and perhaps they can see how much I am missing them. Maybe there are deceptive circles under my own eyes too. They both seem to understand something though, and their pleasure turns back to fright as they comprehend this Walter's anger as he sees them. On the other side, Walter grabs Olivia's arm and drags her out of view, although her eyes plead with him to let her stay with me. This Walter almost growls in fury, and with terror I understand that they are his targets, and he will avenge my kidnapping.

**********

It all seems to happen very quickly now. Walter lets go of my arm and he dismantles the window from the back, keeping out of sight of his alternate self. I understand Nina's fear now, and it is echoed as I worry for Peter's life.

"We have to go get him." Walter demands and I agree, hoping that the scientist will save the day.

"What do we have to do?" I ask as the cogs in his mind turn. He seems to remember something important and his face drops.

"I think, my dear, that I will be unable to go with you." He states, and here I stop listening as he explains his scientific reasoning; there is no chance I will understand it. Instead, I begin to fear my lone journey.

Walter goes on to explain his plan as we travel out to where I had last seen him. My heart wrenches as we arrive but my desire to keep him alive outweighs both my fear and my grief. I hoped that if we lived through it, saving his life might go some way to repaying the hurt my betrayal caused him. The plan was vague, I just had to have that Walter arrested, but it was unclear how. At least I had credentials on that side; I was still Agent Dunham of the FBI and had the authority to do such things.

Hurriedly, Walter sets up his machine and the hauntingly familiar blue portal appears. I suppress a choke and with one glance back at Walter, I hurry toward it.


	9. Chapter 9

I fall to the ground and it hurts. My first thought is that I'm never going to find anything here, the whole place is flickering, lit up by the cortexiphan in my body. I blink, trying to calm myself down so that my fear might lessen and I might be able to see more clearly. I give up on this idea, im far too terrified.

My exhausted state tries to keep me there but it loses the battle against my determination. I climb to my feet, brush myself off, and run back toward the city. I, unlike Peter, had brought the device to re-open the doorway from this side, so am not trapped. It takes me a while to get to the lab, and as expected it is empty when I arrive. With some difficult I rummage through the shining drawers and find my alternate version's contact details. I copy down the address and make my way toward it, fear powering my limbs.

As I reach the house I gasp, realising where I am. I had been so worried that I had totally overlooked the address. This house belongs to John Scott. I knock tentatively. The person that answers the door makes me shiver; I look at the glimmering ghost of my dead lover. John smiles at me but looks a bit confused, he probably wasn't expecting Olivia back yet.

"Where are your keys Liv?" he asks, "Left them at the lab again?"

I nod at him with a slight smile and let myself into the house. "I've left everything there. Do you remember where I keep my spare ID?" I call from the living room, realising I may need this.

"Your FBI creds?" He calls back. "Sure hon they're in the drawer in the desk."

The desk must mean in the study I just passed, so I steal into it and open all the drawers, picking up the familiar identification. Something about it was different though, and as I look I see _her_ name, Agent Olivia _Scott_, typed onto the card. The thought makes me shiver, as I realise how close I came to becoming that very person. But I am Olivia Dunham still.

"What's the Bishop's address? Do we have it written down?" I ask John, and he looks at me confused.

"Yeah, it's on the fridge." He says "What's with you? You're very... forgetful today."

"Just an off day" I promise him, lying through my teeth. I grab the address off of the fridge and make my way toward that part of the city. It takes me a while to half walk, half jog there, but my tiredness is kept at bay by my panic. I call the FBI to alert them of the situation. Telling them only what I feel Broyles needs to know. I almost trip up though, starting my sentence with "This is Agent D... Scott".

I arrive and admire the size of the house but I do choke back a screech of terror. I sneak up to the building and find the door left slightly ajar. As useful as it is, it worries me that Walter is too angry even to close his front door. I draw my gun, praying it still works. I can hear noises, muffled cries of panic, so I shift slowly toward where they're coming from. I'm in the living room now, and the sounds are coming from the next room. With my back against the wall, I sneak round, taking in a deep breath I turn and confront the noisemakers.

It's with shock that I regard Olivia Scott and she regards me. I stand speechless, stock still, until her gagged, teary head nods toward the person next to her. William Bell is gagged and tied up, like her, but there is a shot wound in his shoulder and he's losing blood fast. I jog to them and unbind them both, taking off my jacket and using it to try and slow his bleeding.

"Where are they?" I hiss quietly to Olivia.

"Upstairs." She responds "But be careful, he's dangerous and he's angry"

Who? I think to myself bitterly, handing her the bloody jacket and creeping back out of the room. It's not difficult to find the stairs. In the main entrance hallway there is a massive spiral structure, metal and glass intertwining a passageway to the first floor. I climb them as quickly and silently as I physically can, and feel alarm as I hear a cry of anger from one of the rooms. Please don't let it be too late. I draw my gun, praying it won't come to that.

Hesitantly I push open the door that the noises are elapsing from, pistol aimed ready to fire. Peter is tied and gagged too, and it looks like he has been beaten for he has a blackened eye and several gashes that are weeping a distinct red blood. Walter has his back to me, and is working on something in his fit of rage. With horror I comprehend the very device Walter used earlier to get me here. He has made his own. I am his target.

Wide eyed, Peter slowly shakes his head, pleading with me not to get involved. I ignore him and step forward slowly, but Walter hears and turns, aiming a gun of his own at my head. There is no way I will live through this.

Checkmate.


	10. Chapter 10

Two guns, two heads. Neither can win. I struggle to remain conscious but my willpower is victorious. Coming here had been a mistake, I can see that now, but I am trapped, a monkey in a cage. I can't even run for the ties that prevent my arms moving, and I can't even talk for the gag that stops my free speech. It's been a while since I felt so helpless, but even then Olivia had always saved me, my Olivia though, not the married, different woman who stood strong against my criminal, biological father.

A gunshot sounds and I watch in horror, but Olivia has seen it coming and ducks, all in a matter of a second. From the floor she shoots, aiming not for the head but for the shoulder. The older man is a lot less agile than the younger woman and cannot dodge the bullet. But I cannot help watching as his attempt at moving drives the bullet into a potentially fatal spot just right of his heart. At this I squirm, crying out and trying to break free. Olivia's tear streaked face stares in shock and terror as Walter crumples and falls to the ground. I wonder through my tears of anguish and confusion if this is over. Everything goes quiet, until someone else bounds upstairs. I assume it's the FBI so don't bother to look up until Olivia speaks. I didn't notice her stand up, but as I look to the door she stands in surprise.

"What happened?" she asks, coming toward me, removing my gag and untying me.

"You just shot him" is all I can say. She looks confused, but not as confused as I feel when another Olivia pulls herself up so she is sitting on the floor.

"No, Peter, I did" this woman corrects me regretfully. My bonds have gone, and as I understand who the other woman is my face can't help but beam despite the beckoning sorrow.

"Liv?" I ask rhetorically, recognising her to be Olivia Dunham and not Olivia Scott. I jump up from the chair and practically drag myself toward her. My injuries are holding me back slightly but I reach her and wrap my arms around her shoulders where she was sat. She returns my embrace almost grudgingly, and I look into her eyes, wondering what is holding her back. I shift so that I'm sat next to her and snake an arm around her neck instead. I'm about to ask her what's wrong, if it's just today's events, but I'm interrupted by the FBI who've arrived just a little too late for my father.

Olivia Scott makes herself scarce, aware that more than one of her in the same room would lead to difficult questions. She goes back to help Bell who's being looked after by paramedics. Apparently he's still hanging on, striding along the tight rope between life and death. Walter is pronounced dead and the FBI clear the scene and clear Olivia of charges, agreeing her shooting was in self-defence with one look at the other casualties, me and the gunshot in the wall behind us included.

We're gently chauffeured into a big FBI car, and taken back to the lab. They haven't realised that this Olivia is not their Olivia; theirs went with the paramedics to the hospital for Bell. They might realise later, but I'm sure we'll be long gone by then, back where we belong. We enter the lab and we're alone at last. I take her hand and lead her to sit down, pulling two chairs up for us. She hasn't said a word since she admitted she was the shooter.

We stay silent for a minute and I look at her face. She looks strange, her expression is not one I recognise. I wonder what she's thinking and think to ask her, but decide against it, just happy to be with her right now.

********

I should be happy that he's alive, and I am, but the weight of murder and knowing I'm about to lose Peter for the second time drags my mood down uncontrollably. He doesn't seem to understand. He thinks I'm not but I keep catching the glances he's given me, his beautiful vibrant blue eyes widening with concern, but not a hint of sadness. Perhaps he's happy here, happier than I gave him credit for.

He's trying to gather the courage to speak and eventually he manages.

"Livvy, what's wrong?" he asks me quietly. I guess he was expecting a better reunion when he laid eyes on me earlier. I shake my head, struggling to keep the tears back. I don't want to talk just yet, but he doesn't seem to understand.

"Liv..." he began again.

"Peter don't." I sigh, suddenly unsure whether to make the most of him while I have him or to leave before it hurts too badly. I glance sideways at him from where my head hangs, and I watch as he glimmers simultaneously with his surroundings. I chuckle darkly. "I can't think. Everything is glimmering too much"

He pulls his chair round so that he's facing me, and I cringe slightly at the clattering and screeching the wood makes as it is dragged across the stone floor. He lifts my head with my hands, and though I pointedly refuse to look him in the eye, I can feel his gaze on my own. He gives a sympathetic smile and runs his hand from my face through my hair. He sighs when I don't respond, removing his hand. I can tell he is starting to get frustrated with my lack of conversation, and I don't want to upset him.

"I'm sorry" I try to smile, finally meeting his eyes. I'm surprised at quite how much hurt I see there, and at the loneliness that lies simmering under the surface of his skin. I can read him so well. "I just... It's just... It's..." I stutter, not sure how to resume. "Peter it hurt so much when you left".

By the time I had finished uttering those last syllables the tears had broken free from the barriers of my eyes and I fell uncontrollably into hysterics. Peter replaces his hand on my face, using his thumb to brush away the waterfall of tears. I don't realise how close we are to each other until he leans his forehead on mine in such a calming manner that I manage to recollect myself and halt the flow of tears. I can't help myself, I throw my arms around his neck and squeeze his body to me tightly, and enough that he lets out a laugh and returns the gesture, holding me close with his arms around the back of my waist. For a second I feel happy again, but he kisses the side of my head and that's all it takes for the tears to come back. He feels them on his shoulder, and places his forehead back on mine.

"Oliviaa..." he moans, slightly dragging the last syllable. "Sweetheart, please tell me what's wrong?"

"I don't want to lose you again" I choke, desperately thinking up any way we can stay together. Perhaps I could live here with him. I cast that thought aside when I remember Astrid, Walter and the war. My universe needs me.

"What?" he looks at me confused, playing with strands of my blonde hair between his fingers.

"I have to go back, but you... you're at home here"

"Olivia..." he begins, and it makes me almost angry to see the traces of a smile and a look of relief on his face until he continues. "Is that all? Livvy, if I've only learned one thing from coming here, it's that I can't live without you or Walter"

"But that's just it isn't it." I retort. "I'm here, in your own universe, just it's a different me". I know that inevitably my jealousy will present itself, so I decide to be open with him. "I saw the way you and her were looking at each other, Peter, through the window."

He chuckles a little, and that makes me crack. I stand up and walk away with my back to him, before changing my mind and deciding to respond.

"I can't believe how harsh you're being Peter!" I accuse. "Who even are you anymore?!"

At this, he stands up and comes toward me. I stand my ground, not threatened by his approach. He surprises me then, as he puts a hand around the back of my head and gently presses my mouth to his. I stand in total shock, but slightly part my lips in response to his kiss.

"I'm someone who's realised just how much I love you, Olivia" he grins as he pulls his head away from mine, just enough that he can see my eyes. "And I'm sorry for laughing, but I just can't believe you seriously thought that I'd let you leave without me"

Now I feel joy, pure, innocent, untainted joy. I don't smile as such, but one half of my mouth does in a crooked surprise. I'm sure my eyes are shining, because he laughs again, happier than I perhaps have ever seen him.

"You mean you're coming back with me?" I'm practically crying again, but this time in disbelief. He kisses me again, with a little more passion this time, and squeezes me into a hug. He nods, grinning as we pull away. My tears are overflowing again, and he kisses them as they fall past my cheekbones. This makes me smile, and I giggle like I used to when I was only a little girl. This seems to make him even happier.

"Shall we go home?" he invites, and it's my turn to nod.

*******

The familiar blue void faces us and it is with a much different attitude that we approach it this time. I squeeze her hand, and kiss her hair once more as we stand before the doorway back to our home.

"You're sure...?" she asks hesitantly. "You're sure you want to come with me?"

To reassure her, I kiss her lips again, stopping them from worrying and protesting. She understands that to be my answer and I pull her by the hand through the blue.

This time I hit the ground, and she lands on top of me. I didn't tell her but I almost enjoyed it, or would have if it hadn't been for the pain in my limbs from the beating. With hints of embarrassment and even a tad of awkwardness she climbs off me, but I reject the hand she offers out in help to pull me up.

"Peter! Olivia!" A voice I'd longed to hear exclaims joyously. "You're safe!"

Walter approaches us and embraces me before looking straight at Olivia.

"I can never thank you enough, for saving my son" he declares, and embraces her too. She smiles happily.

"Can we go home, dad?" I ask, using the last term to assure Walter my anger had long since faded. This made him beam, and he drove us back to our house, not even bothering to check Olivia wasn't coming back with us. It was definite.

We got out, and the three of us entered the humble home, Olivia and I hand in hand. Walter seems to appreciate that we want to be alone, as much as I am happy to be back with him. He hugs us both again, and collapses into the couch. I pull Olivia upstairs smiling, and we go into my bedroom. I notice that her scent hangs in air and look at her quizzically. She flushes and apologizes, explaining that she has been staying here to look after Walter, and she was sleeping here because she missed me. I grin, and apologise for leaving. Lying back onto the bed, she snuggles her head into my shoulder. Something occurs to me.

"Liv, what did you say when I was about to walk through?" I ask her. "I remember you saying 'I', but I'd gone before I heard the rest."

Her pink flush returns over her cheekbones and it causes me to grin. "I said that I love you" she smiles. I grin back at her.

"I love you too, Agent Dunham".


	11. Epilogue

**So I've decided just to finish this off with two little parts from the future, so major fluff ahead. If you'd rather leave the story dignified, feel free. ;)**

Epilogue

It's with some surprise that I regard today's date. Tomorrow marks exactly one year since I walked through that portal, deserting the people I loved. I would not be capable of that now. The war is over, for now at least. Both universes survived after Walter did something that made the distance between the two bigger again, sealing off the holes. Olivia and I are strong together, and I haven't ever been able to comprehend this kind of love. If someone one year ago today had suggested that this would become so serious I might have thought it a possibility, but I would have found it hard to believe that she felt the same. If I was asked a year ago in a week, I would have known it for sure. I make the decision that I have been contemplating, and put my plan into action. I stand up from my work and cross the lab, entering Olivia's little office. She looks up with a quirky smile.

"Hello" she greets me. "Found something?"

"Sort of" I start, tricking her. "It's a beautiful little French restaurant not too far from here, and they have availability for tomorrow night for two at about 8"

She looks puzzled. "What's the occasion?"

"It's a year tomorrow since I went over there..." I say this slightly awkwardly, it's an almost tabooed subject; the hurt that we both felt is something we'd rather forget. This makes her approach me, and my breathing quickens. She kisses me softly and I stand almost still, her slowness winds me up slightly and I try to suppress my arousal. Her mouth twists into a cheeky smile, one that I've come to know and love.

The rest of the day and all of the next goes by quickly, just as every day I spend with Olivia does. We reach the restaurant and are seated. We chat idly about the case, and about our love and interests. When the time feels right, I reach into my pocket, and find the little velvet box that Walter had given me. I walk around to her and kiss her cheek, before putting one knee on the floor. As she realises what's happening, her face is a mixture of confusion and shock. This public proposal goes totally against her normal values, but she grins despite that as I pull out the ring. She kisses me back, and accepts. I never thought I'd find someone I love enough to propose to, but I know that I'll never even consider anyone else.

"Happy anniversary" I mutter to her in a jokey manner as she nestles down into my shoulder. With my spare arm I shut off the side lamp, but despite the darkness I can feel her confused gaze.

"Anniversary?" she asks me

"It's a year today Liv, since everything that happened, since us..." I wonder if it's still a bit too soon to mention the details of that day.

"It is?" She asks incredulously. "I'm sorry, Peter, I should have remembered!"

I laugh slightly that she actually feels bad for forgetting, and kiss her on the head in reassurance. She mumbles that she'll think of some way to make it up to me. I turn so that I can look at her, my eyes having now adjusted slightly to the darkness. Tantalisingly slowly, I lean in and kiss her, knowing she hates me winding her up like this. She sighs in faux anger, kissing me harder. I refuse and resume the soft, sensual pecks I had started, until she just gets more frustrated. Before I know it, she's pulling my t-shirt off of my chest and I'm running my hands down the length of her bare waist.

Shit, I think to myself, pacing up and down. I look at my watch, and then at what's in my hands. I don't know how to feel about this. I have to tell Peter. He'll be at the lab I'm willing to bet. I pull out my cell and call him. He answers happily, totally unaware. We've only been married for 3 weeks; this is all going so fast! I ask him to come home; I have something I need to show him. He agrees and I can hear the natural curiosity in his voice. He claims he'll be quick, and I know his desire for knowledge will make that the truth. I smile to myself, and try to work out what to say. Being outright is probably easiest.

He arrives about 15 minutes later, and I greet him with a nervous smile. He looks at me with his head cocked to one side. "What's up?" he asks simply.

I stutter. My truth idea is not as easy as I'd hoped. Instead, I just give him the test result I'm still clutching in my right hand. His eyes widen when I realises what he's holding, and his jaw drops too when he looks at the result. Positive.

"We're... You're..." he begins and I nod, not quite sure yet how he's taking the news. I continue worrying as he stands in shock for a couple of moments, but I beam in response when he breaks into a grin and scoops me into his arms, swinging me round and kissing me. 

"I love you so much, Olivia" he declares joyously, squeezing me tightly. "Walter is going to be _so _excited."

The first time I hold my daughter in my arms makes me happier than I could imagine. As I regard her tiny, perfect face, my heart swells with pride and joy. I never thought I could love anyone as much as I love her mother. Her wispy light hair and vibrant blue eyes make her ours, a part of each of us in her. The two of us sit with her just smiling as she sleeps, nestled against her mother's chest. My arm is around my wife and other hand is clutching our Elizabeth's, our tiny little Lizzy's. The unspoken decision to name her after my mother fills Walter with happiness as he bounds into the ward, practically crying in delight at the sight of his first grandchild. He congratulates us and I'm fairly sure he's already told the entire FBI team, and probably anyone who was outside the building as he made his way in. Olivia passes our baby to him and he holds her in caring love. He hugs me, cooing over the little girl and kissing me on the head too. I laugh, my whole world is complete, and this _is _my world, even if it wasn't meant to be.

And so here I stand, happier than ever before.


End file.
